I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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