anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize