Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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