i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she told me i tasted like america
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
