she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
