I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
