Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
