Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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