Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
