I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
