Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
