I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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