piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
