well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
