Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
