Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
