Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
