So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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