Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize