It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you didnt know i had herpes?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
