Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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