At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
farters have to be the big spoon...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
