Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
