So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
