Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
