when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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