I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
