I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
