Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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