He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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