Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
