"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
