dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
