its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
