new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
