Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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