There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
