I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
