that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
