During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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