Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
