she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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