Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm just crazy horny about you
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
