I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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