I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
