SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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