Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I will die if light touches me.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
