ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
