Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
