About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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