OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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