Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
